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Jul 6, 2005
Let's Go
She sees and hears things,
And reads in-between the lines
To find
Subliminal messages
From past misses
Trying to keep themselves in the present
because they feel they still have a hold on a man because he still calls her a friend.
A past
Is what these 'friends' now have,
because she
ended their future and endangered their present.
And she may not even want a future solely belonging to them,
But neither
does she want him to have one with others.
It’s a damn shame,
But it also doesn’t help
That he still calls up this friend to tell
Of his trials of the day.
They play,
He flirts,
She giggles,
Then for a moment they remember what separated them in the first place.
And that’s when he calls the one he tells he wants to be with.
She is not as naïve as the friend and others may think,
and she holds her tongue while listening and observing.
She goes along because he is not hers either.
You still with me?
So no matter what he says…what she says…or what she says,
None of them make a couple.
There is only what
could be,
what once was,
and what wants to be.
But with whom?
Who’s really hearing the truth?
Only God knows.
And they may not even be the only ones playing in his field,
So she sees with her ears as well as her eyes
Making sure even her peripheral vision is as crisp and clear
As the words being spoken to her by this man whom she loves
As she ignores rumors and catty messages but is still conscious of them.
They say love makes you blind and crazy
But she’s fought this war before,
So she prepares for the possibility
of having to heal her heart better than the last time love called her name and struck her with an arrow.
Her mind is sharper,
and her heart is stronger.
So she wraps them up with bullet proof vests
To protect them from the trials and tests that life will continue to shoot at her.
Shots that strike a mighty blow and may even leave a mark,
But no longer is she left vulnerable to the piercing of her mind
or her heart.
And around and ‘round we go…
Posted at 02:52 pm by Soulfire
Signed And Sealed
My packaging may not be the best,
sometimes I stay stressed,
and I ask you to overlook the markings on my flesh.
Cause when your heart takes over your eyes and mind,
you'll see that MY heart and soul are flawless.
I'd give you the best
of me
of us
of we.
You'd see I am The One, for which you've always dreamed.
And in the process I'd teach you to see
physical characteristics aren't as important as they once used to be.
And it would come to you so clearly
that if you could see love,
it would look a lot like me.
like us.
like we.
I come as a package
but don't focus on the wrapping,
the gift is on the inside,
and it radiates above.
Please don't let this earthly body keep you from love.
Posted at 02:50 pm by Soulfire
Jan 16, 2005
Just Be You
Just be me?
Can't you see, I can't be no otha
If I could..wouldn't want to
I'd turn it down w/ the otha
opportunities to go back and change the past
All that happened for a reason,
I don't question or ask.
In time God shall reveal why I've been where I've been.
Why I am where I'm at,
Why I am who I am.
Who am I?
I'll give it to you in three simple words: Child of God.
Everything else comes together when you put Him first
Never question my faith,
submerged in God's verse.
Solo soldier with ambition,
for life's combat I'm dressed,
but Faith & Love still describes me best.
My definition for "what makes life worth living."
Both are giving.
Selfless femme, passionate and willing
to put myself last if it casts a smile
a soft touch to the cheek and it'll last a while.
Soul is my name, Faith is my signature,
written in my heart where it will last forever.
And when all is done and said
I can stand strong and tall
true to myself...true through it all.
Posted at 02:19 am by Soulfire
Missin' You Like Crazy
I'm missin' you like crazy,
crazy I must be.
You're not mine, but I find,
you're sparkin' jealousy.
Watchin you write so many names,
mine is just there in the mix,
but you're right I do the same
from three names I must pick:
You, Him, and Me.
The hardest is me.
To say 'no" so many times
keeps weakening me.
I'm missin' you like crazy,
Crazy I must be.
You're not mine
but damn I'm thinking about you constantly.
You say the same,
but I can't help but wonder if it's true.
I understand your hesitation,
ironically keeps me wanting you.
I don't mean to hurt you
If I am I apologize.
I'm hurting my damn self
dreaming of the skies.
Honestly; no lies.
you stay steady on my mind.
I refuse to believe you're "just drama" in my life.
What is your reason; I'm asking my God.
Lifetime or a season; I'm asking my God.
Prayin for the answer; I'm asking my God.
After all, you're here because you were sent by my God!
I'm missin' you like crazy.
Crazy I must be.
You're still not mine, but it seems,
I just can't stop writing poems about you,
You ARE poetry.
Posted at 02:13 am by Soulfire
Guilty Pleasure
Why can't I shake you?
Maybe 'cause I'm not even trying,
but when I do
I cave so fast.
Your image has me dying
to hold you
and touch you,
your voice undenying.
Verbal embraces
from both directions,
our chemistry is flying
so high...
so high...
in the sky we're residing.
The sun and the moon
whod've thought together they'd be shining?
Still...separated by night and day,
two hearts crying
and trying
to complete circles,
but with myself I'm fighting
and hiding
the fact that you're moving in on my heart.
He was there first
and He fills the parts
so how are you inching you way in
unknowingly, unintentionally
I should've known the sun would spark
a flame; the sun is smart
You didn't have to run game
I was intrigued from the start.
I came your way
then blocked your path.
Didn't think you'd choose it.
Now I feel ____'s wrath.
Can't fill in the blank
'cause I'm confused.
Not quite yet "love",
but "like" is surpassed.
Can't have my cake and eat it too
you warned me and I fought it
But it caught up with me
I was sleeping...dreaming when I caught it.
You're my guilty pleasure.
I want you but can't have you.
It's dangerous you said
I agree but I still can't shake you.
Maybe it's cause I'm not even trying
But when I do
I cave so fast.
Gotta keep you near
but how long will you last?
Posted at 02:11 am by Soulfire
Nov 19, 2004
Come My Way
I'm sitting here
reading things
and she can't tell
how it seems
quite the same,
we've got the same man
on both our brains.
We can't deny
he's oh so right
smile like...heaven's skies,
Mind so deep
I get weak,
Its nothing like I thought it'd be.
He caught my eye
now movin on my heart
bonded by
faith, love, and art.
Spiritually holding on,
but our obstacle, we're so far apart.
Yet, It's still so obvious
his words spell my name
and she must recognize
how freely he came
but she just can't seem to see
how for me he feels surpassingly,
The time is wrong
but I'm loving every time
he calls my home and tells me every night
"you're so beautiful" and "how I want you"
I feel the same and I can't deny
how often I find you on my mind.
And as days go by I find that I
don't care if she knows I wanna make you mine.
What you two had
is now all gone
and what she did
was so damn wrong.
The choice is yours
what will you do?
Take another chance or start something new?
Posted at 03:49 pm by Soulfire
Oct 18, 2004
You
Have you ever just written down what's in your heart?
And I don't mean right after someone special just said goodbye.
I mean, like going for a walk and lookin up in the sky and just feeling so free
and honest that the only feeling you feel is what is occupying your heart,
Take a glimpse into mine:
You fit the discription
Asking me to break it down is like trying to count to infinity,
All I know is it's you.
What I know I want and what I feel I must have.
God's discription for me.
It's you.
How amazing that you're so far away
yet you heal me before anyone can see me fall.
How amazing that you're so new
yet you know me better than life long friends and relatives.
It's you.
You that takes me so high without even trying.
For how long is not my concern
because my whole life would be worth five beautiful, blessed minutes with you.
To touch you would be like touching heaven itself.
To look into your eyes is like seeing love even though love cannot be seen.
With You, love is tangible,
Making the impossible possible.
I KNOW I could see it in you.
I know I CAN see it in you.
I know I WILL see it in you.
My God couldn't be teasing me with the idea of you.
So perfect for me.
He in my strongest, male form.
He who feels like 360 degrees of love, life, and soul.
One Soul.
Ours.
Be my reason, every season.
For my lifetime.
My lesson is learned, but I don't want to lose my teacher.
I fell in love with him.
Honey, I was wrong.
You don't fit the description.
You made it
Posted at 02:16 pm by Soulfire
Sep 4, 2004
Soulove
My half of a poem about love with the concept of "evol":
Audio Version of SOULOVE
L-O-V-E
4 letters that spell out me.
Yeah it's like a disease but one I wanted to catch.
Even when I wasn't exposing my heart it was still exposed.
I caught you w/o even lookin.
E-V-O-L
Yeah it can be,
and it has been
Many times I've had it.
Many times I've thrown it away,
but more times... I longed for it.
Nah, it's not a disease, it's an addiction
and every now and then I gotta get a hit
to keep myself sane and keep my brain
from reverting to day dreaming scenarios of the perfect you.
And what we'd do if you were just here.
But you're not
And I'm stuck longing for that hit,
longing for that drink.
And like licking empty cups hoping for a drip,
I end up takin what ever compliment way too far
and having to apologize to someone for seeing something that wasn't there in the first place.
A disgrace.
Yet, the worst infection,
is when I lose myself and with out even noticing
I end up running around blind until I'm suddenly alone again and I'm like.....damn.
And I'm left to pick up broken unfamiliar pieces
to dry up unfamiliar stinging red eyes
to wash off unfamiliar tear-stained cheeks
because I USED to be so strong.
F-O-O-L...When I fall. Posted at 10:56 pm by Soulfire
4 Year Illusion
When I look back at the last four years,
it seems as though it never even happened.
Were you really here, or was it something I imagined?
Did I imagine all those nights
holding each other so tight
kissing faces, necks, and shoulders every time one of us switched positions
just because we loved each other that much?
loved our touch that much?
loved our love that much?
Then I'd wake up to the feel of you caressing my face
or running your fingers through my hair.
I'd open my eyes and just see you smiling at me.
I'd smile back and greet you with a 'hi baby.'
And you'd just say....I love you.
Now that had to have been a dream or something.
Makin me feel like I walked on clouds for so long,
'cause close to the end our dissolution
it felt like an illusion.
The man I knew every inch of
felt like a stranger to me,
and as the information poured in
he felt even stranger to me.
There's no way it was you who did what you did.
There's no way it was you who said what you said.
Lying about me? When down to the last day you were hooked on me?
Steady saying you love me, you want me, wait for you, don't go.
Hold on, be strong, you'll visit me soon.
Well I waited, and I held, but your well enough...wasn't enough.
This is the part where things no longer seem familiar.
The faces are no longer angellic.
My cloud descended and has left me on the ground,
cold...hard...and dirty.
And even though the cloud fell so slowly, I broke when I hit that ground.
Then you try and blame me for the way things went down?
To ease your guilty conscious?
You're so damn pompous!
Admit what you did, or lack there of.
How dare you blame me when all I did was love
and care for you and lose sleep in hopes to catch you online
wasting my damn time
overlooking my crying.
How dare you take advantage of my tears and my passion.
I had to let you go
and it was only then that you could see
all the foul shit that you did to me.
Yet still I forgave you and tried to be a friend.
Checkin up on you every now and then.
Then you jump down my throat as your guilty
feelings take everything I say out of context
resulting in conflict.
That's it, i'm spent.
How could this be the same man I thought Heaven sent?
Those damn four years
an intrusion to my brain,
mocking my sanity
cause I swear I'm insane.
Nah.....just heart broken.
Posted at 10:48 pm by Soulfire
Jul 22, 2004
I Am
Confused
not knowing why I do what I do.
Ashamed
not doing what I should be.
Embarassed
because I can no longer hide behind my smile.
Lazy
from all of the above.
Disheveled
when I feel this way.
Slowly heading downward into a dark blue abyss.
Blue my favorite color
symbolzing my voluntary demise.
If I look hard enough, I can see steps.
Should I ascend them or continue to slide...slide...slide...?
Posted at 11:48 am by Soulfire
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